It seems to be that recently I've decided to listen to love songs again. I don't know why. After my painful moment of my life, I promise not to listen to love songs again. It seems to be that it's been a year that I never listen to any love songs again but right now, I am listening to love songs again. Funny but true to me. I don't know what struck on my mind to listen again to love songs. Right now I am listening to one of the songs of the Bee Gees.
Seems to be that a year of sorrow turns into a great joy on my part. I don't know why. Honestly, pain in my heart still lies on my heart (as usual) and the emotional wound is still on my part. I know that it is right to move on but for me I need years to move on. Frankly speaking I can relate to the song of the Bee Gees' "To Love Somebody". This song was so strong that I cannot stop listening to it. For me, I don't know what is the feeling to love another one again. I know that I am still thinking of the past but for me it is mix emotions.
I don't know what is the real sense of love as an individual. *Not as a servant* For me, service is different from being just an ordinary individual. Love is everywhere and you cannot resist it. I am still hoping that one day of my life there will be love again in my life. I know that God will bring me this person that I am waiting for. I will not find him, I will let him to look for me. Even though that seas and oceans are apart still I will wait for him.
It seems to be that this time my life was been cultivated again, but I am not saying that I am not prepared for that scenario of my life. It's hard to say when life will cultivate or bury in a wisp of air. Hard to predict what will happened on this life, but it should be done. Ungratefully but I have to face my fear again; a fear of long lasting goodness of this unlawful love. This time I was bothered of a lot of things. This things was composed of thousand questions that I do not know if this will be answered or will be left out hanging in a certain area of a cliff.
Though I was moving on, but still it was been cultivated. Right know I have a lot of questions to ask, but I do not really know if this is right or wrong. I know in school if you ask your teacher there's nothing wrong about your questions because your learning. In reality, there will be a great teacher who will tell you that your questions is whether right or wrong. Full of unchaste questions on my mind but I need to hold this things. I rather question myself first before questioning others. Right now I am in the middle of nowhere but still I have a great guide from up above.
I could not tell when will be the possible moment of my life can I ask this questions to a certain person. Still hoping for an enchanted time for me to ask this questions that right now is occurring in my mind and in my heart. Feeling anxious this time, I need to move and have a lot of things to do. Life seems to be unfair for all of us but we need to face this trials and fore fold this trials in our life. Probably we do have a lot of questions but we can keep that thing in our heart or lift those things as we move on.
As I serve my new community, I gain ups and downs. I know that it is like a roller coaster without an ending. I seek a lot of options where I should pour out my guilt deep inside. The guilt turned into discernment. This discernment prevails for months. I was so confused when this discernment prevails to my service.
Since the I seek for advices from different people, but still the discernment is there. Maybe this was not the right time for me to serve when my discernment is there. Recently, someone helps me to realize that I have a purpose to this world and my purpose as a servant and as a christian-catholic. I realize my purpose through the youtube video entitled "A Letter from Hell". Scary but true. This video has a deep meaning as a living testifier of God.
I realize that I cannot please everyone inside and out. I do also realize that this community still needs people who can understand what is the true essence of service. I think this is the real call for me to help them to learn and see who Jesus is.
To the people who help me to realize my purpose, thank you for making me realize that I have a purpose here.
"For as long as I shall live I will testify your LOVE I will be the witness when the words are not enough"
Perfect words used to be gone when you are seeking for good life. Though it is funny to say, still life say this thing. It's hard to find a new good life but years after she knows that she will have a good opportunity where she is right now.
She might be not a perfect person, still she wants to prove that she is not an inadequate person. Life for her is a great and monstrous world, yet a great school for living independently. Currently, her perfect words are spitting out. She doesn't know what will happen next. Perfectly said, thought, and written.
Probably, this is her first step to write again, but not in a notebook. For her, this is a great enigma why she lost her passion to write thoughts in good place.
Let her speak again, for she is speaking out. Let her beautiful thoughts be seen by others. Now is the time to let her words be seen. Right now, too many thoughts for her to shine.
Perfect words are willing to be out again. She is not a perfect author of her writings, but she raise this writings to the one who gave this talent. May this girl shine as she looks for inspiration to write again.
Let me tell you a story of Love and passion but it ended up into pain. By the way I am Protacio. I am just a merchant living in a small town of Florence. I am not just a simple merchant; I am a wandering merchant traveling around Florence and outside Florence to sell my wonderful items. I just want to share the story of two beloved couples who dearly love each other but it ended up in to sorrow.
In the year when the industrial revolution is starting, there are a lot of new things are going on. New structures are being put up, printing presses are starting to print news for the masses and passionate man and women are blooming. One day, I was preparing my stuff in a small corner in the dock of Sicily, I saw a pretty lady. This lady was so adorable, finesse, and well-educated; she is not just an ordinary lady, a lady of one court of Sicily. The lady’s name was Delanna. Delanna was the daughter of a duke in Sicily. She was walking in a busy hall of a fuzzy market where all merchants are there to sell their beautiful and elegant things that they brought from there provinces. As this lady walks to the market, he saw a peasant guy. Though this guy is peasant, he has a strong value of patience, hard work, and perseverance. The guy’s name is Lucio. Lucio was an orphan guy who lives by himself since the age of 15. These two persons had a different status in their lives but they have one in common, their principles in life.
During the mid-afternoon of God’s Sabbath, Lady Delanna decided not to go straight home. She went again on that fuzzy market to see what she could get on those merchants like me. As she walks to the fuzzy market, she was bumped by an infamous robber and took her purse. She shouted so loud so that she could get help from the market people. A lot of men, including yours truly, chased that infamous robber up to the end corner of the market. Luckily, Lucio was in the end corner of the market. He noticed that there was something wrong and the people were chasing someone. He saw that they were chasing the infamous robber of that market. He helped those men and finally he caught the robber and got the purse of the Lady. Lucio walked down to the fuzzy market to look for the owner. He found out that the lady was in a nice stall where a lady merchant comforts her because of that happening. The peasant guy went there and gave the purse of the lady. Before giving the purse the guy was mesmerize by her beauty. He never thought that he will meet a beautiful yet enchanting lady in person. As he gave the purse, the lady was so thankful because the purse was been returned to her. Before living, the lady glances on him but just a little bit.
Another day of working day, busy merchants, busy market and most of all new ships are on dock. Still the poor peasant guy is working for his living. The lady visits the dock to see the peasant. She looks around and asks everyone if they know him. Finally there was the colleague of the peasant told her that he was resting in their humble resting place. After asking that thing, the lady was accompanied by that man to their humble resting place. Facing the front door, the girl knocked and asked where the boy who saved her purse from that infamous robber yesterday was. One of his colleagues calls him. Finally they met up and talked. They could not imagine that they could talk so close without any status difference. They just talk and talk until they reach the noon. It’s noon already and it is time to eat dine. The lady invites the peasant guy in a fancy bistro, but the peasant guy decline. Delanna tried her best to persuade him and finally Lucio grant her invitation. They walk and look for a bistro to have their lunch. Finally they found a fancy bistro yet a cheap one. The lady asked for two seats, but the owner decline her request because of her companion. Finally they were granted because of the lady’s story of his heroism last God’s Sabbath noon. They sat in a beautiful banquet and waited for their server. Finally the server came, and they got their table-de-hote menu and tell their order. As they wait for their server to serve there fabulous meal, the owner gave them complimentary champagne for their food. Finally the food came and the server told to them that the owner will make their meal free because of the peasant’s heroism. They enjoy their meal and stay there as long as they want. It was mid-dusk and they did not notice that they should go back to their homes. They went out of the bistro and thank the owner for the food and champagne. They walked back to the dock and bid good bye to each other.
Night of work day and the road was lit by lamp candles, the lady went home with a smile on her face and twinkling eyes. The duke notices that his daughter went home so late and fulfilled. (Oh I almost forgot! The duke was a grumpy and iron-fisted man. He hates peasants and merchants). The lady went to her room to be clean by her nurse and set for a good night sleep. Before sleeping, surprisingly, her father visited her in her room and asks her a few questions. After asking those unusual questions, the lady went to sleep and think of him.
Another work day, same old thing, same music and same people are there. Delanna is there again to see her lover and talk to him again. They talk again all they long and it ended up in to a good relationship. Same old story, they Lady went home night of work day doing the same old routine that she has inside their magnificent chateau. The duke notices that there is something strange happening with her daughter. The duke decided to hire an emissary to oversee his daughter. The duke told to his emissary that he must not be noticeable by her daughter and other people. The duke and the emissary agreed to the contract and compensation.
The old days are passing by and they still continue their affair without noticing the emissary of the duke. One weekend, they meet in a beautiful commons where the lovers are always dating and staying. Delanna went there wearing her beautiful clothes that she has. As she looks for her better-half, she saw a merchant selling gold. She stops for a moment and bought a pair of gold rings. She bought the ring and continued to look for her better half. Finally they met up in the open hall of the commons. They talk for a long time, cuddle each other, and finally they gave gift for each other. They peasant guy gave a special thing that he got from her mother when she was seven and he kept it so that he can give it to her special someone that he will marry. The lady got her gift from her purse. She got the pair of gold rings that she bought from the gold merchant and she gave the piece to the peasant. After giving gifts to each other they went in a motel and they decided to make some romance. Without any further notice, the emissary of her father went back to report to the duke. The duke heard a lot from his emissary and finally he became well inform and well fed up with the information. The duke ordered his officials to capture both of them and send them back to the chateau.
Happy night of weekend for the couple who mend to be together and decided to marry on the next day, but a misfortune for the lady’s grumpy father who knows everything about them. It was before mid night when the officials came in the motel. The couple was so shocked and terrified of what’s going on. They were arrested and brought to the chateau. They saw the duke and the duke was holding a whip to punish the two. No explanation asked, the duke sends the peasant guy to the chateau’s dungeons and the lady was sent to her room and locked her forever. After how many months, the duke learned that the lady was pregnant. The duke called a doctor to abort the pregnancy of her daughter. Hesitantly surrendering herself, the lady was tied up to her bed and the abortion was done. Delanna was so sad about that event and she could not move on because of the pain from the doctor’s procedures.
Down to the dungeons, the peasant guy was so weak and nearly to his final breath, he was tortured by the lady’s father. The peasant was killed by the tormentors who have been paid by his soulless father. The lady learned from her nurse that her lovers was dead already, she wept all day and all night tied up on her bed still feeling the pain of her abortion wounds. After she wept, she saw a sharp material that the doctor uses for the abortion. She took it and unties herself and after untying herself she killed herself. The duke, her infamous father, learn that thing also. The duke was so terrified for the daughter’s death. Without any further announcement, the duke and the rest of the chateau workers give the lady and the peasant a simple yet meaningful funeral and they were rested in a lot at the back of the chateau.
What a sad love story eh! Why this suppose to happen to this two wonderful persons. They just love each other and they are the good examples of strong principles. I just want to tell you that love can be painful sometimes it is sweet. Not all of lovers like them are fortunate sometimes you need to face hardships and obstacles. I just want to say thank you for your listening to me and I need to go now. Aye! I need to move to another town to see other lovers whom their love is like Delanna and Lucio. So long my dear friends. This is Protacio and I am glad to meet you my friend.
Hi!
I'm Needle Heart Uchia. I am not a Japanese, I am a pure Filipino. Currently living at Toronto, Canada. Some people say that I am emotional with my writing but the truth is that that's my way of writing. My way of writing was like Shakespeare type but I put it in my own way. If your want to know my plot. My setting will be during the medieval times or renaissance period. It's either of the two. Sometimes I write just out of my boredom.
